| If you have a child, teenager, or young adult in your | | | | time to fully process what is being said before you |
| life whom you suspect or know for sure is struggling | | | | put in your two cents. |
| with self-esteem, defiance, anger, or lying, your first | | | | 3. Be caring. Work with the troubled youth to find |
| instinct is probably to reach out. This is a good | | | | solutions to his problems without pushing him to |
| instinct, and you should follow it; however, know that | | | | become something he is not or isn't ready to be. |
| there are certain ways to go about reaching out to | | | | Make suggestions only after you've thought about |
| troubled youth and that moving too quickly or in the | | | | them long and hard, and try not to come across as |
| wrong way may push the troubled youth away from | | | | preachy when you're giving advice. If you've taken |
| you. Before you make a move to help the troubled | | | | the time to really understand and listen to a troubled |
| teen or young adult in your life, consider some of the | | | | youth and have put some serious thought into any |
| following advice: | | | | advice you give, the youth is much more likely to |
| 1. Be understanding. Many troubled teens are acting | | | | follow your suggestions. |
| out because they feel no one understands them. | | | | 4. Help the youth seek professional help. Sometimes, |
| Maybe their friends make fun of them when they | | | | a troubled youth is already in such a terrible situation |
| act like themselves, or maybe their parents push | | | | or frame of mind that you cannot help much except |
| them into a mold that just doesn't fit. Whatever the | | | | to call on a professional youth worker or counselor. In |
| case, if you want to reach out to a troubled youth, | | | | fact, trying to pull a teenager out of major emotional |
| you need to be someone who understands them. | | | | or situational problems may cause more harm than |
| This doesn't, however, mean that you need to | | | | good, so if you feel like you're getting in over your |
| flippantly say, "I know what you're going through," if | | | | head, it might be a good idea to prod the youth |
| you don't. Real understanding comes only through | | | | toward professional help. |
| listening well. | | | | 5. The big "if." These rules only apply if the youth isn't |
| 2. Listen actively. You've probably heard tips on | | | | in a life-threatening situation. If he or she is suicidal or |
| active listening before: "Look them in the eye," | | | | on the verge of overdosing on drugs or alcohol, do |
| "Repeat some of what they're saying," "Ask | | | | everything in your power to get him or her to a |
| questions for clarification," etc. All these tips apply | | | | professional facility trained in dealing with desperate |
| ten-fold when it comes to listening to a troubled | | | | youths. Even if the troubled youth can't stand the |
| teen. Often times teenagers and young adults feel | | | | sight of you for a while because she feels you've |
| that adults never listen because they're too ready to | | | | dumped her in a place she doesn't need to be, you |
| give advice or lectures. Don't be that adult! Instead, | | | | will have done the right thing and possibly saved a |
| take what he or she says very seriously, and take | | | | life. |