| Relationships in recovery can be a tricky thing. In | | | | Relationship with your higher power - Again, most |
| fact, most people probably don't realize it, but | | | | addicts and alcoholics in early recovery need to do |
| relationships are the number one problem when it | | | | some work in this area. When we first get clean and |
| comes to relapse. Nothing else has the same amount | | | | sober, we are usually far removed from our |
| of power to create such turmoil in our lives. | | | | connection with our higher power because we've |
| Think about it: your life is made up of nothing but | | | | been essentially ignoring God for so long. Getting |
| relationships. If you were living on a deserted island, | | | | back in touch with our spiritual side is critical for |
| with no one else, your life would be very different | | | | success in early recovery. There is a hierarchy here |
| indeed. At the very least, your level of stress would | | | | with relationship building. Start out by connecting with |
| certainly be lower. This points out the true nature of | | | | yourself and with your higher power, and this will lead |
| relationships in our recovery: they are both a blessing | | | | to better relationships with others. As you get more |
| and a curse. They bring us great joy, but they can | | | | in tune with your own spiritual side, your ability to |
| also cause us a lot of grief. As such, they must be | | | | connect and empathize with others will increase. |
| handled with care and approached in an intelligent | | | | Relationship with your significant other - This can only |
| way. | | | | flourish if you have nailed the other two relationships. |
| There are essentially 3 types of relationships in your | | | | In early recovery, there is a danger in rushing out and |
| life: one with yourself, one with your higher power, | | | | finding a new relationship with a significant other. The |
| and one with a significant other. There are also | | | | reason this is so dangerous is because a new |
| dozens of other relationships in your life, such as with | | | | relationship will create a temporary and false spiritual |
| your coworkers or your friends, but those are the 3 | | | | connection, one that replaces any need to cultivate |
| big ones. Let's take a look at them in more detail. | | | | and nurture the other two relationships (with yourself |
| Relationship with yourself - This is the first | | | | and with your higher power). Those other two |
| relationship that you must cultivate and repair in early | | | | relationships are the ones that will keep you clean |
| recovery, because it forms the basis for all other | | | | and sober, not the relationship with a significant other. |
| relationships. For most recovering addicts and | | | | But there is a strong tendency to use a new |
| alcoholics, this means forgiving yourself. What does | | | | relationship as a recovery strategy without even |
| this mean? It means that you have to let go of all of | | | | realizing it, and many newcomers relapse because of |
| the emotional baggage that you are carrying around | | | | this. |
| with you and give yourself a break. Now that you're | | | | Remember that relationships are a double-edged |
| in recovery you're trying to do something different. | | | | sword. They can bring us great joy, but at the same |
| You need to forgive yourself and allow yourself to | | | | time, they can be extremely dangerous for the |
| live again. | | | | newcomer. |