Listening - The Best Way to Communicate

One of the biggest challenges you will face as yourthe same place at the same time as your kids,
children get older is keeping a healthy, opensometimes it's necessary to plan ahead to spend
relationship. The key to any relationship istime together. Taking your son on a fishing trip or
communication. We all know how important it is tohitting the mall with your daughter can provide time
talk to our kids, especially about tough issues likefor fun and conversation. Pay attention to details and
bullying, peer pressure, and safety. But it is equallyask follow up questions. Sometimes it's easy to ask,
important, perhaps more so, to listen to your children."how was your day" without even paying attention
Listening and taking an interest in their conversationto the answer. Asking them for details will show
can bring you closer and keep you close as they getthem that you are truly interested in what they have
older.to say.
Good communication with your children should startListening to your kids gives you insight into their
almost as soon as they learn to talk. As they goworld. Ask them what music they like, what they like
through their "why" phase-"Why is the sky blue?"to do for fun with their friends and what's considered
"Why does Tommy have different color skin thancool or uncool. They may think you are uncool for
me?"-it is important to give them honest answers innot knowing, but they will appreciate your interest all
a way they can understand, even if it may makethe same. It will help you get to know your children
you a little uncomfortable. Doing so earns their trustbetter as their likes and dislikes change. Don't be
so that they feel comfortable coming to you forafraid to introduce the topics of drugs and alcohol. If
answers.you start talking about the dangerous effects of
No matter how insignificant a problem your child hassubstance abuse when they are young, it will be a
may seem to you, it is important to give it properno-brainer when the time comes to say no. They will
consideration. By listening to their problems andknow what the right decision is, and that will give
helping them work them out or asking the rightthem the courage they need to stand up to peer
questions to enable them to work the problems outpressure.
for themselves, you are encouraging them to comeNo matter what the issue, whether your six-year-old
to you whenever they have a problem. It importantfeels bad about himself because he's a slow reader
that they feel like they can go to you whenor your ten-year-old wants to know why she can't
something is wrong, especially important as yourwear makeup like her big sister, it's important to
children get older and the issues they face get moretreat you children's concerns with the respect that
difficult and dangerous.you expect your children to show for you. Listening
With everyone's busy schedules it's important to getto their problems, helping them overcome them, and
the most out of the time you have with your kids.being there whenever they just need to vent can
Asking them about their day at dinner or turning offhelp you maintain a healthy level of communication
the TV for a half an hour can help keep your line ofwith your children. They may not tell you everything
communication open. Since you may not always be inall the time, but at least they'll know they can.