Advising a Single Parent With a Troubled Teen

If you work with troubled teens, chances are likelyrealize after speaking with him that he works three
that a few of them come from a single-parent family.jobs just to put a little money back for his son's
This makes the teenager's problem all the morecollege fund. Or maybe you'd like to accuse a mother
acute because it is always difficult to be without oneof being harsh toward her children until you realize
parent, and it is even more difficult to build goodthat she is stressed to her utmost limit and can't help
relationships with the parent who is at home becausebut act out of her frustration and exhaustion.
that parent is likely to have to work a lot to makeWhatever the case, listen before you speak. And
ends meet. The situation is no better from thewhen you do start speaking, watch the parent's
parent's perspective, either, as he or she probablyreaction. If you suggest too much too quickly, you
regrets not getting to spend more time with themay cause him to shut down and wall you out,
children. Either way, counseling the single parent of ashooting your chances of productive conversations in
troubled teen can be a particularly difficult task, onethe future. So definitely come with some ideas about
that takes skill, understanding, and delicacy.how to help her troubled daughter get out of the
First off, when you're going into a single-parentmess she's making, but don't shove them all at her at
home, know that the person you're talking to is likelyonce.
to be very independent because he or she has beenInstead, pick a few of the most important points on
breadwinner and homemaker, mother and father toyour list and talk about them in a compassionate
his or her children for a while. This is not an easy job;way, being sure to listen for the parent's reactions. If
it takes dedication and hard work and can leave theone point comes across well, keep pressing forward
best of us feeling exhausted, mentally drained, andto see how far the parent is willing to go to help the
frustrated. Barelling into a single-parent home andtroubled youth at the moment. If you have too
bossing mom or dad around will probably cause themany points to process all at once, just give it some
parent to unleash some of that frustration in yourtime.
direction.When it comes to advising the single parents of
So, be sure that you really understand what you'retroubled teens, you can't be too compassionate,
walking into before you start throwing out unwantedpatient, or careful. These parents, just like every
advice. Find the parent a babysitter, take her out toother, want to help their children succeed, but they
coffee, and spend some time just listening to hermay also have more emotional and practical barriers
side of things. Maybe you feel that a single fatherthat must be carefully overcome for your advice to
has completely neglected his son's education but yoube taken correctly.